Power of prayer

I don't know if it was prayer or suggestion or just will power (ok, not likely will power, that's not my strong point), but I've recently made a big step in my life. Yes, I'm bragging about this here. So shoot me.

There was a poisonous person in my life and I was getting really sick of always getting wrapped up in arguments and well, any sort of conversation with this person. And I was at Mass with a hot and fussy baby, who was fussy because I was hot and frustrated over a conversation to let the baby CIO (cry it out) with this poisonous person. I couldn't understand WHY it got me so frigging mad. How this person could just get. under. my. skin. all. the. time. I thought, towards God, rather than praying.

[Praying is hard when you're holding a hot and fussy baby. Unless you're praying for the baby to stop]

And I thought, Ok, make this person go away. I dont care if it means we fight and I have to tell them what I really think of them. I don't care if I have to be a little mean. I can be a little mean because it will mean peace, eventually. Bring it on. Just bring it. I am so sick of this person in my life. They're poison. Life is good, and I wish they weren't in my life. They've ruined too much of my spirit for things.

And. Then, that week. We got into a conversation about something. I don't really remember what. And then, all of a sudden, this person is saying. "Wow, I never really believed you thought that about me. Huh. Well, I guess that makes a lot of sense then. You really think that. Imagine. Huh. Wow." Etc.

And, I said, well, yeah. Kinda. I don't mean to be mean, but I see x and y, and z. And those three things combined mean xyz to me. I'm sorry if it hurts, but that's just the reality of it for me.

And this person hasnt' talked to me since. And it's been, like, two weeks. I feel peace.

I've been struggling with this poisonous personality for a long time. The manipulation was driving me crazy. I didn't want to lie about what I thought about it anymore. I was done. And just by being honest I drove this person away. There are lots of good things about this person, but none of those good things are enough to make this person a good person to be around. It wasn't until I was like, OK God. Do it your way. Whatever you want. I'll just be honest and cohesive.

That's something I need to be working on. Cohesion in my life. Yep. And I think that being a mom full time helps with that. One thing. It might mean I'm being defined as one thing for now, but at least I'll know who I am as a mother, and begin to learn who I am in general too. I feel like I've been living more cohesively since I got pregnant. But, it's important now as I'm starting to steo out of my mommy cucoon more and more to stay that way.