Now that Peanut pulls up to standing, everywhere, I had to lower the crib mattress today. I have been putting it off, but because when I was just under seven months I was climbing out of the crib, I decided to get down to it today.
She's in there now, playing while I write. Until I get a playpen that I can figure out, I will just have to have my 15 minutes of peace in the mornings this way.
Note to self: getting child to bed earlier tends to help her to sleep longer.
ETA: we've started this separation anxiety phase that I'm not sure is part of the AP plan, but I'm plodding through. Most of the time it's fine, but I'm dreading visiting family while this is happening. I get enough comments about how I'm spoiling her already for picking her up when she cries.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
more milestones
Saturday, February 07, 2009
memesmemesmemes
I did a 25 things meme on facebook that has taken the world by storm in good and bad ways. I've decided to write about things that I didn't on facebook here. Just so the blog would be graced by this phenomenon.. :) Also, I like to be self indulgent once and a while. I blog, after all, don't I?
- I am a serial monogamist.
- I am currently single, and this makes me oddly calm and peaceful.
- I love and am more in love with my daughter than I have ever been with any other person. Sometimes when she falls asleep and smacks her lips together in satisfaction, not unlike a toothless grandmother, my heart swells so much I'm sure I must be close to Heaven.
- I am constantly aware of calories. Am I getting enough, am I eating too many.
- My neighbors are loud, but I don't tell them to be quiet, because it makes me feel like I have extended family living above me.
- I indulge in things like blogging, Gossip Girl, Britney Spears, fancy cupcakes...
- For a long time, I was pretty duplicitous and attracted drama. I was always waiting for a rock bottom to crash into. Many of those came and went. It took seeing a positive pregnancy test to teach me that I was worth more than the chaos I surrounded myself with. I didn't know until then that I was deserving of peace. Being entrusted with the gift of another life made me realize a lot of things.
- I still wonder, though, that if I had been trusted by more people when it really counted if it would have gotten to that point. I give people many chances to prove themselves, and I have a hard time understanding when others don't treat me reciprocally.
- I have a high tolerance for annoying, mean, and cruel people. Until they go after someone else.
- I tend to stand up for people even if I can't stand them. Even if they don't deserve it. I've been trained to take the stance of the underdog by many years of "turn the other cheek" and "stand up for the little guy" mentalities. That, along with my tendency to trust people I shouldn't, has frustrated a lot of the people close to me. Maybe a better way to explain it is that I play the devil's advocate but don't always know when to stop.
- I don't know what games to play with my daughter because she's bored of all the ones we did today. Everyday I have to make up something new and every night I'm a little worried that she will have nothing to do but fall off furniture tomorrow.
- Other than that, I think I'm a fantastic mom. I have had baby ache since I was 17, and it's subdued a bit with Peanut hanging out. Just a bit.
- I might be a borderline shopaholic. I just don't let myself shop very often. I know someone who has a room full of clothes with tags still on them and so when I go to buy something I picture that room and it helps me to not buy it. Sometimes.
- Thrift stores are the worst. That and book stores.
- I love sneezing. Don't you?
- A close friend of mine has recently shut me out of her life. I tell myself that it's because of her new relationship, but I think it's because I'm a mom and I'm not married and it doesn't fit into her circle.
- I want to spend a year in Paris. Or Madrid.
- I was teased once for singing on the playground and had paralyzing stage fright for nearly ten years.
- I'm not unaware of the melancholy tone of this list, but that wasn't really what I intended. I am also aware that this is the requisite self-aware, meta-whatever number 19. At this point on these lists people usually comment on the list. Have you noticed that?
- I want to save money so that I can send my daughter to a good school. Or just homeschool her.
- I'm choosing not to save for her university education in favour of paying for my own education.
- I wish I got Kanye's new CD. I like it, but I prefer the other stuff he's done.
- I used to have a big problem with nail biting. It's not so bad now.
- I almost spoiled a ballot. Twice. On purpose. Then didn't. Twice.
- I have plans to live with a friend next year when I go back to school and I'm worried about that chance that things might go sour. But, more than that, I'm happy that it will be like having a bit of family around.
Friday, February 06, 2009
teeth hurt, but not more than change tables
I am really frustrated with breastfeeding right now because Peanut has teeth and she thinks it's a game to catch me off guard and bite at the end of a feeding. I think I raelly need to get on this solid food business a little more, because I think it's meaning less milk for her.
In other news, she's tried to walk on her own but has no balance to do so. And she's also dove off a change table. And, she fell off my bed. And she's decided she wants to climb everything. It's a lot of fun, but now I've started taking naps at the same time she does all of the time, which means my house is a disaster and I'm getting no school work done.
She had needles today and doesn't seem to be phased by it.
I think I'm going to take on house cleaning tonight. Why? Well, on my way home from MacDonalds while Peanut slept after her needles, on the radio came that U2 song Still Haven't Found What I'm looking for.. or whatever it's called. And I was thinking, you know, I haven't found what I'm looking for either. I thought, well, is it love? I haven't found what I'm looking for there either... but I can't do much about that in one night. Am I still hungry? Well, that's silly because I just ate a cheeseburger happy meal. And nuggets. And maybe a few spoonfuls of hot fudge sundae. (Don't judge.) So, what is it that's not sitting right with me? What will satisfy this hunger I have.
And then I got it.
A clean apartment. Yes, that just might do it.
Odd. Very odd.
This might have something to do with baby proofing. Or something.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
this has been a week of milestones
This has been a week of milestones. Peanut has two teeth, and can sit up on her own.
She's crawling up a storm and I can hardly keep up with the mess.
In other news, I don't feel like I have a home on the internet anymore. I've been living more in the real world, and while I don't feel totally like I'm at home there without a little web, I don't know where to go to.
I used to have blogging, and then it was facebook, and then it was my babyfit bunch... but now, I'm just sort of coasting. Is that how you spell coasting? Or is that like shore-ing? I dunno. Too lazy to run spellcheck.
I want to paint. I just might do some of that.
